The WifeSister
by CalmintheChaos
Summary: NOT INCEST! I have always wanted to explore the deleted scene in "Our Mrs. Reynolds" when River pretends to be pregnant and Simon's wife. REPOSTED because of computer error. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: I have to reiterate, this is NOT incest! I've always wanted to explore the deleted scene of River pretending to be pregnant and Simon's wife in 'Our Mrs. Reynolds'. Special thanks to Jadzia Bear for encouraging me to finally post some of my work. Please read and review, even if it's a simple, "I like where you're going". _

Simon hadn't heard her enter the med bay.

"Simon?" River asked as she gracefully perched on the exam table.

He jumped and turned to look at her. She was lucid, he could tell by her eyes. They were always bright and clear on her good days. These days were once few and precious, now they were beginning to be more frequent and lasting longer.

"River, how are you feeling today?" River reached for his hands and as he took hers, she whispered, "We have to tell them". Simon cocked an eyebrow, "Tell who what?"

River sighed, and bowed her head. She wanted this to be a happy moment, but she knew captain daddy would be mad, and the crew wouldn't understand. Things would change, the probability of that was certain. River had calculated that once they could hide their secret no longer there was a ninety two percent chance that Kaylee would not speak to her for approximately two point three weeks.

Simon frowned, he couldn't see her face but something was obviously bothering her. Simon lifted her chin, and as her curtain of hair fell back, tears pricked her eyes.

River squeezed his left hand and sobbed "Simon, I'm pregnant".


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Joss is Boss, no profit is being made from this work, I'm just borrowing!

_Go se, Go se, Go se. How did this happen? _Simon paced in the infirmary his shoes slightly squeaking against the cold tile.

_You ninny_, his conscience chimed in, _you're a doctor, you know how it works. _

He had sent River to bed to rest with a sad smile on her face. _I could have handled that better, or at all._ _All I did was nod and start rattling off all of the tests and checkpoints that'll be needed in the future, like a real bendan._ Simon continued to pace, running his hands through his hair.

_What are we going to do?_

This wasn't how it was supposed to be of course. His future plans for he and River had drastically changed after he learned what horrors had been done to her in the Academy. _Finding out your fiancé was being brainwashed and being trained as a government assassin could definitely be seen as a step backward, _he mused_._ _Then life on Serenity didn't exactly condone a blissful life either, even with River getting better…_

Simon had been saving money from some of the 'jobs' the rest of the crew had been pulling over the past few months. A new arrangement between he and the captain afforded him a small percentage of the 'loot' as Kaylee had called it. He had hoped that soon he and River could settle down on at least a semi-civilized world. Life would not be as comfortable as they were used to, but it would be safer than life on Serenity.

_Worlds always needed doctors, if the inhabitants were half as enlightened as those in the core. River could continue getting better, maybe even start a dance school, _Simon thought as he turned the water on in the sink and let it pool in his cupped hands. After splashing the water on his face, he placed his wet hands on the back of his neck, hoping the cool water would calm his nerves. He resumed pacing. _This baby changes everything._

"You know, that's a good way to dig a trench". Simon jumped and spun around. "Didn't mean ta startle ya, " Mal said trying not to let the smile spread on his face as the image of the fine doctor clutching his heart through his silk vest tickled him. "C-captain, " Simon stuttered, "can I help you?" Mal shook his head as he looped his thumbs through his pants. "Letting you know chow's in ten, you should go fetch your sister", Mal turned to leave but noticed the doctor's rumpled appearance.

"Anything bothering you, son?" Simon ran his hand through his hair, trying to regain his composure. "No, Captain. I'm fine. I'm afraid River won't be joining the crew, she isn't feeling well". Mal nodded and turned to leave, his boots echoing down the hallway. Simon pulled at his vest, _Captain's going to kill me._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Joss is Boss, no profit being made. Did I mention that BDM didn't happen in the realm of this fic?

Four months had passed. Simon had tried on several occasions to bring the subject of the pregnancy up to Captain Reynolds. _Maybe we could simply just slip away while in port one night._

"Not trying hard enough". Simon turned; River was settling herself onto the exam table. "I don't want to go without saying goodbye". _No, I suppose that would be too easy_, Simon thought, trying to suppress a yawn. To avoid prying eyes he had taken to examining River and the baby in the early hours of the morning when the crew was asleep.

He turned on the imager and lifted River's baggy sweatshirt. If the crew had noticed River forgoing her usual flowing or tight fitting clothes in favor of looser, baggier garments they hadn't voiced it. At sixteen weeks she was beginning to show. _Perhaps I could avoid answering the question of the child's paternity._

River rolled her eyes. "They would want to know". Simon simply nodded, continuing his work. "Would you like to hear the heartbeat?" Already assuming her answer Simon filtered the audio into the room. River smiled brightly and turned her head to share the moment with her husband, but there was only the doctor, intent on the data in front of him. Her smile faded and she closed her eyes to keep from tearing.

Mal stretched his arms behind his head and heard their familiar pops and snaps and kept from groaning. No reason to wake the rest of the crew just because he couldn't sleep. Although it could be on account of Wash and Zoe having 'private couple time' rather loudly next door. He continued down the corridor and saw his sweet mechanic emerge from her bunk.

"Hey capt'n. Couldn't sleep none either?" Kaylee rubbed her eyes. "Nah, lil Kaylee," Mal ruffled her hair and glanced over to the merc's bunk. "Looks like Jayne and the Sheppard are still contemplating the question of why there's no Saint Jayne". Kaylee stifled a giggle and took her captain's arm as they continued to shuffle down towards the galley. "Maybe Zoe and Wash'll be done sexin' by the time we're done a cup of tea," Kaylee yawned.

Simon was droning on. "The fetus is coming along…" Anger flared in River's eyes. "No. No. No. Simon!" she pleaded for his attention. Simon blinked at her outburst. "Not 'the fetus', not 'the baby'. Simon this is _our_ child, " River pleaded.

Kaylee had convinced the men that an Irish coffee would help them all sleep better. _I don't know about sleep but it certainly has loosened everyone up_, Mal thought as everyone was enjoying a good laugh at Jayne's expense. _Who knew the man knew some Earth-that-Was show tunes? _That's when they all heard the first crash, followed by some colorful mix of Chinese and English cussin'.

The group proceeded to the area outside the med bay and saw that Zoe and Wash were already there watching River flip over another tray of instruments, causing another crash of noise. "Thought the moonbrain was gettin' better," grunted Jayne. Mal and Zoe shared a look. The spectators watched as River continued to throw whatever was in her reach at the helpless doctor. "Perhaps one of us should intervene…"started Sheppard Book. Wash gave a small laugh, "Heck, I'm thinking of selling tickets!"

"No, Simon! I'm perfectly lucid and I'm certainly not helpless!" River marched up to Simon, her long slender finger pointing in his face, almost causing him to cross his eyes. "You tell them or, or, wo hen yi forever!" River burst from the room and ran passed the others.

Simon hadn't noticed they had drawn an audience. He took a hesitant step and cleared his throat. "Evenin' doctor. Mind telling us what all that was about?" The captain edged his voice, clearly indicating he expected an answer. "Ah, yes. Um, let's see...Captain, can I discuss something with you, in, well, private?" Mal was enjoying watching Simon squirm. "No, I think whatever you need to say can be said in front of all".

_Why isn't it ever easy?_ Simon sighed, and lifted his chin to look the captain in the eye. "River is pregnant, sixteen weeks actually." A collective gasp filled the room. Kaylee's hands flew to her open mouth. Simon heard someone whisper 'Whoa de ma', although he couldn't quite tell from whom.

"Who's the daddy?" Kaylee asked. Simon bowed his head, _Yes, I suppose they would want to know_. Simon's hesitation was long enough for Mal to jump to conclusions. In the blink of a second he had pushed Jayne to the wall, his arm under Jayne's chin. Commotion erupted around them.

"Captain!"

"Tickets, I should be selling tickets!"

"Sir!"

"Wait just a second!"

Jayne struggled, his face flushed with anger. "Whoa now! What makes ya think it's me?!" The captain applied more pressure to keep from hitting the big merc, he wanted him pinned, not unconscious. "Well let's see now, I gotta married man, a preacher, and a brother on board. That's leaves you."

"Yeah?! Well what about you?" growled Jayne. Mal's eyebrows shot up, "What about me?" "I'm justa saying..." Mal shoved the big merc harder into the wall, "Just sayin' nothin'! I'm not the one going around molesting little girls!" Jayne pushed Mal back away from him.

"She's eighteen," Jayne barked. Zoe tried to keep amusement from her voice, "Not really helping your case Jayne." Simon's head was throbbing. That, mixed with lack of sleep and the stress caused , what later he would call, a 'momentary lapse in sanity'.

"The baby is mine," Simon called over the arguing voices. Everyone froze as his declaration sank in. It lasted a moment before Jayne and Mal had him pinned to the ground and pandemonium erupted once more.

"You son of a whore!"

"Wangbadan!"

"There's a special hell..."

"Hun dan! How could you!"

"Ai ya! Stop!" River yelled over them, causing everyone to freeze once more. River stepped towards the group. She had changed into an old flowing skirt and a form fitting top that showed her motherly condition. River's face glowed as she gently stroked her abdomen.

"Simon. Tell them."

_Don't forget to review! Even if it's a 'good work' or telling me what you liked specifically!_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thanks for all the story alerts and kind words! Once again, a huge thanks to Jadzia Bear!

Simon felt like he was on trial. He stood at one end of the dinner table as the rest of the crew sat there, waiting for him to start explaining. He was reminded of that day so long ago when he stood in the very same spot, explaining why he was in possession of a naked, mentally unstable girl. The only difference now was the calming and reassuring presence of River, sitting on the stairs, smiling softly at him.

Simon tried to give a small smile back and failed. Looking back at the crew's steely gazes, he suddenly found the idea of the captain following through on his threat to throw him out the airlock more appealing. He pulled at his collar and cleared his throat.

Sheppard Book nodded at him, "Go on son".

"Osiris, like all the worlds that replaced Earth-That -Was, is different. Has it's own customs," Simon began.

"Ni bu shi ren," Jayne grunted.

"Like incest?" asked Zoe incredulously.

"Remember the goslings?" asked Wash, holding up both hands as if holding two small birds.

"Honey, juggling geese ain't nothing like getting your sister in the family way."

"Please! Just let me explain," Simon held up his hands pleadingly. "River and I come from two very old and prominent families. It was only natural that our parents would arrange for us to be married. Contracts were signed before we were even born. Despite what you may think this tradition is alive and well on several other worlds. But on Osiris, the tradition is a little more involved."

Simon's body language changed. Suddenly Jayne felt like he was in school being, well, schooled.

"The girl is given to the boy's parents, her host family, so that they can learn and grow together. They're brother and sister, in a way, so that they know one another. Anything from likes, dislikes; tastes; moods and interests. It's believed this makes them a stronger pair and ready to be husband and wife long before they are actually married."

Kaylee had been chewing on a nail, thinking on Simon's words. She opened her mouth in protest, "But you ain't given no choice. Like dating, how'd you know he was a good kisser if the girl only kissed one boy ever?"

Simon let a small grin play on his lips. Somehow he knew Kaylee would be the one to wonder about that. "There are opportunities: socials, event gatherings, boarding schools and college afford the individual to explore other venues as it were. But in the end, the man usually returns to his wife-sister or vice versa because there's already a solid foundation, trust, and friendship".

Jayne kicked back the rest of the rice wine in his cup and slammed the cup down on the table. He shook his head, "Still sounds kinda off ta me". Zoe shifted forward in her seat. _He's not done explaining yet._ She rested her elbows on her knees, a question on her full lips, "But when were you married? The feds had her for awhile. Before she was eighteen. Eighteen is standard legal age to be married, no matter what part of the 'verse you're from."

Simon rocked from toe to heel. "Ah, yes. Well, River and I had just had our engagement ceremony when River was accepted to the Academy." A look of pain flashed across his face. "She wanted to go so bad. How could I deny my future wife something she was so gifted at, to reach her full potential? We agreed that once she had completed her studies we would get married as planned". Simon's gaze shifted over to River. She had withdrawn into herself, battling the memory of her time in the Academy that had bubbled to the surface.

Mal had seen Kaylee's tears form a moment before her frustrations burst out, "What about me?! If you and River are married, why'd you go and, and, I thought you and me…did I misread…" Simon began to explain over her tears, "Kaylee I'm sorry. To protect us, to maintain the ruse I had to hurt you, make it seem that I… I'll never truly be sorry enough…"

The dam broke. Mal shifted uncomfortably in his chair. _Hell_, Mal thought irritably, _I can survive a war but I can't handle a cryin' woman_. Then a separate thought struck him and he had to know, "Why did you hide it all? Seems fairly simple…."

Simon felt something inside of him snap. _Simple? Simple! Life on this godforsaken ship had been anything but simple!_

He began to pace in front of them, his arms wildly gesturing. "Do you remember what you told me that day when you discovered River in the stasis chamber? I had guns pointed at me, you threatened to throw me out into space, I was accused of being a spoiled rich kid who had bought her. She was mentally unstable at the time, who knows what she might have said that would have convinced you of that very thing."

He caught River standing up in the corner of his eye. Her hair caught the light, and River's face haloed.Simon stepped towards her and held out his hand to help her down the steps."I was trying to protect us, protect her. That's all I've ever done."

Mal could barely hear River whisper, "We had no other place to go". River held out her other hand for Simon to hold; in her palm he found two wedding bands. He slipped his on and placed her ring on her delicate finger. Their hands clasped tight and he brought them up to kiss the top of her hand.

Simon looked back at the crew. They're eyes were wide, and in various stages of shock at the sudden display of affection. "Four months ago marked River's continuous stable mental condition. Consequently six months ago when she turned eighteen she legally became my wife, according to the agreed contracts." Simon turned to River and his face softened, " And now, now we have a baby on the way".

River's smile lit up the room. _There you are_, she thought, _my husband. The cold doctor is no more._

The Sheppard was the first to say something, "It's honorable that you waited until she was stable before you…"

"Knocked her up?" quipped the untrained ape-man.

"Jayne!!!" The crew's cries probably could have been heard deep in the black outside.

Despite the sudden lift in mood, Simon continued to observe the captain tentatively. He had that pensive face no one could quite figure out. _He could be contemplating throwing me out an airlock or wondering what kind of protein to have for dinner. _

"Captain? Please, if you feel the need for some sort of retribution, just, please leave River out of it". River tugged at Simon's hand. "No. Simon, ai ren, now we are of one," River stroked her stomach, "And three. We do this together".

The captain let another moment to pass, then leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. "I reckon you were lookin' out for your own. I can understand that". Kaylee took in a deep breath and let it out, releasing her anger with it. She was determined to be happy for the two, although she reckoned it would sting for a little while longer. She leapt up to feel River's stomach and thought_, I could never really stay mad at River, and babies are just so damn shiny!_ A big grin spread across her face as she swore she could feel the baby kick, "You thought of names yet?"

Jayne poured himself another shot of rice wine, "Jayne's a mighty fine name". River smiled, "Jayne _is_ a girl's name, there is a fifty percent chance it's a boy".

"Hey now! See here, it works both ways!"

**A/N:** Whew! These chapters just keep getting longer and longer! A tiny fluffy epilogue will be posted soon.

Don't forget to review please!!!


	5. Epilogue

A/N: It's been a blast writing my first fanfiction after five years of just reading and reviewing! I felt like this fic deserved a short fluffy epilogue. Thanks for reading!

Kaylee had insisted they have a formal ceremony complete with 'all the bells and whistles'. River had resisted at first, complaining that no one wanted to see a big whale in frillies and tool waddling down the aisle. Simon had kissed her and said that she was the most graceful whale in the known 'verse. In the end River had agreed, anything to keep mending the bridge between her and her friend.

Now it was her wedding day and Inara had made sure she was a 'vision in red' before the ceremony began. River was glad Inara could come. _It has surely made captain daddy_, _**no**_, _Ma_l, she corrected herself_, happy, although he will never admit it_. A smile spread across her face as the Companion ushered her to the mirror. Inara had been right, opting for traditional Chinese red instead of antiquated white had managed to turn the eight month pregnant dancer into a blushing bride. Inara excused herself to give River a moment alone but not before subtly checking her own reflection.

The day was lovely, and River was glad that they were able to have the ceremony outside while they were in port on Hera. The name of the planet had caused River to laugh. Her laughter became contagious once she explained to the rest of the crew that Hera, an Earth-That-Was god, was both Zeus's wife and sister. "What are the odds of that," Wash had chuckled, flipping his three switches with gusto.

Music had begun to play softly as River made her way to the end of the aisle. She smiled at her new family, each step bringing her closer to her Simon. Wash held Zoe's waist while they watched her procession. Inara took Mal's arm, much to his surprise, although he tried hard not to show it. It did not escape River's attention that Kaylee and Jayne were holding hands as her friend dabbed her eyes with an oil stained handkerchief.

_We're cut from the same stock, just makes sense ya know_? Kaylee had told her shortly before the ceremony had begun. Yes. River did know, and as she stopped in front of Simon and Sheppard Book she was happy that fate, although sometimes cruel, could lead to such happiness in the end.


End file.
